The focus of the Making Friends module is identifying what makes healthy and unhealthy friendships, how friendship contributes to our self-esteem, and how healthy friendships can support us in building all types of positive relationships. Positive friendships are founded on mutual trust, respect, acceptance, honesty, and healthy boundaries. These are also the building blocks for all types of relationships, including dating relationships. In this module, youth will increase their awareness around what makes healthy relationships, the risks associated with unhealthy friendships, and how they can support one another in friendships.
Big Messages:
- Healthy friendships are based on mutual trust, respect, acceptance, honesty, and healthy boundaries
- A friend is someone who supports you, makes you feel good about yourself, listens to you, and gets help for you when needed
- Conflicts sometimes happen in friendships and they need to be resolved with clear, respectful communication
Learning Goals:
Learn strategies for forming healthy and protective friendships
- Identify what a healthy friendship looks like
- Increase awareness of the need to belong
- Identify ways to form new friendships
- Identify risks associated with unhealthy friendships
- Increase awareness of how friendships affect self-esteem
What The Evidence Says
(click here for full version of literature review)
In adolescence, one’s peers have a significant influence over the choices one makes with regards to peer and dating relationships (Oudekerk, et al., 2014). Youth are also much more likely to turn to their friends for relationship advice and/or to disclose dating violence (Ashley & Foshee, 2005; Black, et al., 2008; Weisz, et al., 2007). Researchers have found that the opinion of one’s peers is important enough to encourage or hinder more formal help seeking. For example, youth who reported seeking more formal legal help said that they had been encouraged by their peers to do so. On the other hand, Weisz and colleagues (2007) had found that youth reported receiving avoidance responses when disclosing about more severe dating violence to their peers. This may be due partly to their peers not knowing how to respond or provide help. In general, because of the important influence peers seem to have, researchers recommend that all youth receive more formal training around how to respond to their peers in the event of disclosures about dating violence. Ultimately, this would involve getting help for their peers from trusted adults as youth themselves should not directly intervene in the face of violence.
Note to Facilitator:
The facilitator has a legal obligation to report suspicions of child abuse to a child protection agency (in the case of Ontario, the Children’s Aid Society (CAS)). Please review over the information provided around disclosure and the reporting process.
Activities
References
Ashley, O.S., & Foshee, V.A. (2005). Adolescent help-seeking for dating violence: Prevalence, sociodemographic correlates, and sources of help. Journal of Adolescent Health, 36, 25-31.
Black, B.M., Tolman, R.M., Callahan, M., Saunders, D.G., & Weisz, A.N. (2008). When will adolescents tell someone about dating violence victimization? Violence Against Women, 14, 741-758.
Oudekerk, B., Blachman-Demner, D., & Mulford, C. (2014). Teen dating violence: How peers can affect risk & protective factors. Washington, D.C.: National Institute of Justice.
Weisz, A.N., Tolman, R.M., Callahan, M.R., Saunders, D.G., & Black, B.M. (2007). Informal helpers’ responses when adolescents tell them about dating violence or romantic relationship problems. Journal of Adolescence, 30, 853-868.